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Undoubtedly one of the greatest joys of travel is meeting like-minded people along the way. I would even venture to say that whether one’s recollections of a particular place fills you with warm fuzzies or a sense of indifference has more to do with who you spent time with while there than with the location’s inherent merits.
For instance, I had an incredible experience trekking through Patagonia because our five-person team gelled so cohesively. I can no longer separate my memories of that trek from the people who I shared it with. Likewise, sad to be parted from my new little group, I was in a bad mood for the following week that I spent in Buenos Aires on my own.
That being said, sometimes the characteristically negative interactions one has with other travelers can be equally memorable. The loud, disrespectful guy who turns on the lights in a dorm room after coming home from the club at 3am. The backpacker who complains about spending the equivalent of 30 cents more than the locals, on a purchase at the market. Or, the pretentious traveler who exudes superiority whenever she opens her mouth.
I met the last example during my stay in Lanquin, Guatemala. There was an American girl there in her mid to late twenties, admittedly very attractive, who always wore cowboy boots paired with a mini-skirt and rapidly batting eyelashes when she spoke. She had a rather hairy, pony-tailed English guy traveling with her on a motorcycle, and they struck me as a rather mismatched couple.
George, the English guy (I have somehow blocked her name from memory), explained how they had met up in Nicaragua and how he had invited her to join him traveling the rest of Central America with him on his motorcycle. He was very down-to-earth as he explained that they were enjoying their slow travel style, and he was obviously completely enamored, with an “I can’t believe she’s with me” look on his face as he talked about her.
I should mention that I was in a typical Mayan stone sauna at this moment, and that George and his travel companion had an audience of about eight others. The conversation was proceeding as typically as you’d expect in a hostel full of strangers meeting for the first time: Where have you been traveling? How long are you traveling for? Where are you from? Etc.
I addressed the American girl with the typical latter question. Despite her strong East Coast American accent, she nonchalantly replied “Oh, I’m a citizen of the world”, while running her fingers through her black wavy hair.
Stifling my desired response of “Is that what you tell immigration authorities when you cross the border?” I replied asking, “Ok. But what part of the States are you from originally?”
“Oh, I was born in Boston. But I don’t consider myself American anymore.”
“Really? Why’s that?”
“Well, I haven’t lived there in so long. I’m location independent.”
“I see. So, how long are you traveling for on this trip?”
“Oh. I’m traveling indefinitely. For example, when I met George I’d just finished six months in the Darien. I never know where I’m going next. That’s why I’m a citizen of the world”.
This girl had such an air of conceit in her voice that I felt like punching her in the face but instead I just swallowed and smiled. And then came the punch line, when someone asked her how she liked traveling by motorcycle.
“Oh, it’s so much fun and unpredictable. We just go wherever we feel like whenever we feel like it. The only difficulty is bringing my hula”.
“Your what?” I ask.
“My hula-hoop. I hula everyday when I travel.”
No-one likes a know-it-all show off. Even if you’ve visited over a hundred countries and have been on the road for the last ten years, it doesn’t make you better than anyone else. It makes you privileged. Travel should enlighten, build confidence and a sense of tolerance and community. So feel free to share your experiences, your wisdom and your stories with those less ventured,
but do so to encourage, not to impress.
Otherwise you’ll be shunned by others and some blogger will write a nasty post about you when they get home.
From that point on, whenever I would see this girl, I would avoid engaging in conversation. The next day when I spotted her and George inside the Lanquin Caves, I really wanted to ask her where her hula-hoop was.
As always, you’re writing is pitch perfect. I’m dying to meet Miss Fancy Pants! She sounds like a delight!
Thanks Barry! I do hope you’re being sarcastic
I’m so embarrassed….
“your writing” NOT “you’re writing….”
So amused by this post! Are East Coast accents qualifiers for world citizenship? And if so, do I make the cut? 🙂
If they were- you certainly would. But the fact that you’re fluent in Spanish helps too!
Oh good lord that is so hilarious! A citizen of the world with a hula hoop. It doesn’t really get any better.
Except if I’d seen her actually on the motorbike with her hula.
Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up
😉
what a great post — and I agree, a good attitude is key on the road. HATE people that go out of their way to run other people’s fun.
I remember reading in a post of yours something about “oh you can go to cusco if you want, but if you want real exposure to inca culture you should go to…..”
Bleh!!
Why didn’t you ask her to hula in front of everybody, she would have loved it and you would still be laughing out loud 😛
You’re so right, the people you meet make it for such a great part of your travels, I too have bad memories of places due to the people I traveled with, I’m sure nothing to do with the places themselves, that’s why I know I’ll go back with other travel companions or on my own!
Damn….that’s a great idea! I should have done that!
Know how ideas of how to handle a situation come to you much later? This would be one.
Yup, the people can make or break a trip. I certainly wasn’t gonna ask to travel with her!
You made me LOLed just now. It’s hula-hilarious!! I met few of those kind of travelers, and constantly bragging about ‘I’ve been there, I’ve been where..’ stuff like that and ‘have you ever done horseback riding at Nepal? When I was there..’
and all I wanted to say was “I don’t give a sh*t”.
Great post!
So glad you enjoyed it. You know, reading this I realize I’ve been guilty of going on about my plans to where it could sound pretentious, but meeting this girl is a great reminder for me to know when to shut my mouth!
Fun story. I do agree with you, it’s often the people who make a place come alive in your memory.
Amen, Sophie! I would argue they are inseparable…the people and the place.
Hahah! But wait! I love to hula! Damn snobby biatches are ruining hula for the rest of us. Citizen of the world? We’ve all met people like this, sometimes I wonder how they make it through life.
Hi Mica! I’m sure you hula the way its meant to be enjoyed…not out of snobbery 🙂
Wow. Can you call a female a douche-bag?? I believe so in this case. Met a few peeps like this along the way, but this sounds like it takes the cake. I loved how you asked her if that’s how she responds to the immigration authority. Priceless.
And I agree, should of asked her hula in front of everyone. That could have been a viral video…
Yes, Pete. I think you can.
I am dying right now, dying. First of all, I’m horrified by that conversation, literally revolted. But I have photos of a girl hula-hooping in Nicaragua!! An American girl who loved the attention and hula-hooped for the whole packed bar. My photos are awful, thanks to the rum and my not caring to get closer, but I would DIE if it were her! I can’t remember if that was the same night Ayngelina came out with us or not. So funny!
Oh My God! Seriously?? Send me the link to the pics…that would be hilarious if it was the same girl!
Hula-hooping on the road? That’s a new one. We met a couple in Bariloche that were going EVERYWHERE. I think they were spending about two nights in each place. The girl loved herself…couldn’t stop going on about how they were going to hit every country in South America in four months and she was freaking out because she thought they might miss out on Suriname and Guyana. Yes, I judged her as I sat there not being able to get a word in edge-wise (no one else could either). Maybe I was being the pretentious traveller, haha. But she was bragging about this like it was SO cool – they were “doing” ALL of SA. I felt like saying, “Yeah, but you’re not really seeing anything.” Instead I left the conversation.
Good move on your part! You know, to each his own: if that’s they way they wanted to see South America- only two nights for each place, then that’s their call- just don’t impose that view on others, right?! Or brag about it…jeez…
Yea, I also met a girl while in Nepal this month who thought she was the coolest thing for traveling the past 4 years. She seemed to think she knew it all and could care less what other people were doing. I guess you will always run into people like this.
Yes. And you will avoid them, right?
I’m in the middle of my travels though India and I’ve already met some people like this, 2 British girls in Hampi who visited the temples & ruins in booty shorts & cut-up t-shirts, while the rest of us respectfully sweat it out in our pants & scarves. Often the people who claim to know the most about “world travel” are actually the most clueless and without any regard for the culture.
On the other hand one of my favorite parts of this trip has been the crowded sleeper bus from hell where we met three of the nicest Australian boys, and we talked for most of the night about our travel plans & highlights of our trip. It’s all what you make of the situation, glad you were able to laugh about it.
Also I’m actually o.k. with her not wanting to call herself American if it means people won’t think Americans are stupid enough to carry hula-hoops around the world.
Loved your post! Happy travels!
Thanks Nia – yeah, travelers who forget to respect the customs of the places they’re visiting really irk me too. How difficult is it to show a little respect?
Happy Travels to you too.
Travel is a privilege, it doesn’t matter how much you have done. When someone actually has to make statements to try to prove they are well travelled, I immediately wonder if they are insecure. Doesn’t look like travel, made the hula hoop girl more confident. I wonder how good she is with the hula hoop. 😉
Absolutely- well said!
Hoola la la the hula hoop ! I still wonder where the hell she was placing it when on the bike !? The attitude of “me and my hula hoop we are going to lighten up the world… get ready to rock b****, because i’m awesome”
great post … can’t wait to read the following one…
You should know- you were right there with me when we met her!
Was it a faithful rendition of the conversation?
Yes it was ! word for word…
Goody. Was hoping that memory served.
Totally agree with your post and the comments – traveling around the world is a priviledge and should be viewed as such.
It’s like the insecure guy with the decked out fancy sports car that thinks just because he had the means to purchase the vehicle somehow this makes him more important than the happy and content family guy with the mini-van.
That’s a good analogy. I think the sports car has lots to do with insecurity and wanting/needing an ego boost as well – which is also a parallel to this.
Ugh I know exactly the type of person you are talking but fortunately have never come across a “citizen of the world ” hahaha OMG I don’t think I could of held my tongue for that one!
Ha! I’m not sure how I was able to…
the hula is the official symbol of worldwide citizenship…. 😉
I wish to revise and extend my remarks.
Me: “Do you carry a US passport?”
Her: “Yes, but….”
Me: “Then you are an American. Shut up, you pretentious twit.”
Michael, you crack me up, as usual 🙂
Here is the weird thing here: I have a British passport, and an American passport. Am I American or British??
WELL PUT! kudos
Ha! A hula-hoop. That is a new one. Great story!
Ugh, I’ve encountered these assholes everywhere. Next time, please punch her in the box.
I’ll try to remember that next time Candice!
haha, great post! reminded me of this guy I met several weeks ago. another “citizen of the world”-guy… but then he corrected himself that he’s not a citizen of the world but he’s from his mother… and then he replayed his own birth. yes he was drunk. but imagine how he would have looked with an hola hoop…:)
Damn, Yvonne! You should write a blog post about that conversation…sounds like it would be entertaining. To read about it, not to experience it, of course.
Too funny! I think we’ve all been there! 🙂
Amen
I met a crackpot like that in Turkey. She said she was “a resident of earth”. And of course I asked, “So as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?” Never saw her again…
ha! What is wrong with these people?
I emailed you a photo of the girl, since I never posted them. DYING to know. She was definitely American — and totally full of herself!! Let me know if you didn’t get my email.
Hey Abby! I don’t think its the same girl…she had black hair and blue eyes, so unless she dyed it, I don’t think so. When was this photo taken? That’s funny that there are multiple hula hooping travellers out there…who knew?!
OMG I totally know that girl! I met her while sailing in Hiva Oa in the Marquesas — she carried a hula-hoop on her travels (this was “her thing”) and she was so pretentious that I considered shoving her overboard.
If she happened to mention sailing in her past experiences then we’re talking about the same girl.
If not, that means there’s a whole niche group of pretentious hula-hooping people out there that we need to protect ourselves from with strings of garlic!
Torre: you’re the second person to comment that they met another hula-hooping female traveler! Do you have any photos? I wonder if it is the same girl?
I didn’t hang around her long enough to see if she started bragging about sailing or not, 😉
These people are best left ignored. Or, used as fodder for blog posts 🙂
Scott: I say write about them 😉
When you’re riding pillion on a motorcycle, indefinitely moving from place to place, wearing cowboy boots and twitching a hula hoop all over the place it’s so hard not to come across as anything else as a citizen of the world. I mean what else would you expect? And you had to ask?
Now the other type of traveller to avoid is the ‘eye specialist!
I’ve been … I’ve done…. I know….
Yeah, I hate those too!
And I think she came across as American, through and through. And I can say that, being one myself, I think, without offending. If she were a citizen of the world, she’d more likely be riding a donkey or a goat, lol.
How did I miss this post??? OMG! I LOVED IT!!! KUDOS!!!!
Thank you Laura, so glad you enjoyed it!
We have all met people like Miss Hula Hoop, all you can do is just smile and move on. Great post.
🙂 that was quite an interesting post.
I have met plenty of them on our trip … people find it so easy to say that they have covered India and then you realize that they have been here for just 8 weeks !
Anyways …
Safe Travels,
Madhu
You could spend a lifetime in India and not have it covered. Safe Travels to you too Madhu!
Two observations:
1. I find that it’s (almost) always Americans that I hear having travel story pissing contests. I’m American, so I can say that.
2. I also find it’s the people that you have to talk to a little while and get to know that have the really interesting stories.
Great post, you’re dead on, loved it, am sharing it.
Also, I’ve seen the hula-hoopers back home in our local weekly music festival. They’re always down to get down.
Elizabeth, I agree. I’m going to write a follow-up post about a guy I met who is the antithesis of hula-hoop girl. And yes, it took a little while for him to open up, but wow- his stories were amazing!
I think you should have punched the “I’m citizen of the world” girl…she deserved it.
Great post!
Jason
Thanks Jason. If I had, what kind of a traveler would that make me?!
LOL! Great piece, very well written and fun to read. What a stuck up cow. She’d have annoyed me as well.
Thanks Pooh! Think you’ll enjoy Part II as well…
Haha this is brilliant!
“I’m a citizen of the world.” You’re a lot more polite than I would’ve been! Eurgh it makes me cringe haha!
You should have SO asked the immigration official question! Or suggested that she renounce her citizenship and become an independent, self-governing state? Then again, she may have taken that last suggestion on board!
I think every traveller in the region will now be on a look-out for this girl. Cowboy boots, mini-skirt and a HULA HOOP (?!). She’ll be hard to miss.
Tom
Oh god. I hope someone doesn’t recognize her and point her to this post…then again- maybe it would be a wake up call?
Pingback: Please, Don’t Be A Pretentious Traveler Part II
Yes! So well-captured. Though I think most people exhibit some element of this when they *first* start traveling, and it all feels so new and sophisticated. I recall one American girl I met in a hostel in Italy who kept trying to “translate” between me and this Italian guy when I was trying to make pasta. I like my pasta soft but he wanted me to make it al dente (even though I wasn’t offering any to him…). She kept butting in to say, “Oh, I see what’s going on here.” *Condescending smile.* “I studied abroad in Italy. This is what we call a *cultural difference.*” And then she proceeded to interpret the whole situation for me. But I understood very well what was going on. *I just wanted soft pasta.* “Citizens of the world” who also view themselves as a translator are the WORST.
Oh God, Leah! Seriously? How can ANYONE do that and think its ok?! Love that story…I think she may have annoyed me even more than Hula hoop girl.
PS. I like my pasta soft too! Thanks for checking out my blog!
It’s a great read!
On the plus side, she was probably equally pretentious back home in Boston…
I have no doubt!
A hula-hoop? That’s new.
Well written!
Thank you, Michael!
The hula hoop totally makes this story! LOL Before that she was just a twit, after that, she transformed into a cartoon in front of my eyes. I can’t imagine her existing in reality! LOL
I guess introversion has its place. I’ve met plenty of the inconsiderate ones but haven’t had the pleasure of finding one so detached from the world as to no longer have a place of origin. Wow!
I like that- a cartoon! Yes, that’s a great way to describe her.
The “citizen of the world” people are the WORST and I hate to say it but they are almost always American. Stop being ashamed of being from the US! Also, no one is a freaking citizen of the world! Like you said, you can’t say that when you pass through immigrations so just be real!
Preach it, Rease! I know- I also get so frustrated with people who still think that they can’t admit to being American because they might be a “target”.
I know this is a separate issue- but I wish instead, Americans would use travel as an opportunity to be stewards of our country- leaving a favorable impression if Americans wherever they go.
Hmmm…I feel another blog post coming on!
Wow. She hulas everyday?? Ridiculous. Nice post and I completely agree about those pretentious types. Very annoying.
Anna- I’m certain she doesn’t hula everyday- she just claims to!
Loooooove this article, hahahah!! Hoola hooping through the Darien? With cowboy boots and mini skirt? Would love to see that 😀
Oh wow I hope to meet her one day to tell her how you felt because I felt the same way reading this. I would want to tell her off so bad. Ive only been traveling for a bit and have yet to meet anyone like that and hope not too. I know I would so tell them off.
Laughing out loud here…………….a hula hoop…………..:)……….I have a hard time finding my tooth brush some days. Then again, a hula hoop is a little large, but can I brush my teeth with it?! 🙂
Good post, and something for us all to keep in mind when we hit the road.
… hearing the Boson accent alone would annoy me. Where DO you put a hula hoop when you travel?
Hi Don! I know, right?!
How was your fly-by-night trip to…was it Italy?
Yes – flew back from Rome. I was supposed to fly back last Saturday with nothing but a quick trip to the Rome airport, but my US Air flight was cancelled. Oh well… I got to stay a full day in Rome, which was nice.
What a great post! I just found your blog and I’m so excited to keep reading!!
Thank you so much for the compliment. I’m glad you enjoy it! I will be writing more very soon 🙂
Oh my goodness… how did you hold back from punching that girl in the face? When people tell me they are ‘citizens of the world,’ it is so hard not to drop kick them to the next continent!